Kigali Genocide Memorial

*graphic post*

We took a trip to Kigali today to visit the Genocide Memorial.  The Genocide is a very important and still prevalent part of Rwandan history and so Peace Corps Rwanda takes each volunteer group there to ensure that we understand what went on during that time and what the survivors of the genocide remember and have to live with every day.  I already knew quite a bit about Rwandan history and the events that have taken place here, but the memorial really blew my mind and showed me that what I thought I knew wasn't even half of what occurred in this country.  The memorial took us, piece by piece, through the happenings of what led to the genocide, the exact moment it began, and it listed out every detail that could be obtained from the survivors that were willing to tell their story.  I was taken aback by the vivid photos and by the detail of it all.  Several of the volunteers were crying as we walked through the memorial; we took in as much as we could in the short time that we had and walked in silence for the bulk of the memorial tour.

The tour began outside and we walked through three gardens which each symbolize a different time period within Rwandan history.  The first was a round fountain with water flowing around the fountain in a complete circle.  The fountain represents Rwanda before colonization.  During this time, everything was united and the people were one.   The water flows smoothly, never stopping and without interruption.  Life in Rwanda at one point in time, flowed in this very same way.  The second garden housed a fountain with a shape similar to that of a deformed circle with sharp points and corners pointing in all directions--this fountain symbolizes the division that took place after the colonization of Rwanda had begun.  Things began to fall apart and the Rwandans were unknowingly turned against one another and began to kill each other, which eventually led to nearly 1,000,000 deaths.  There is a river that flows from the first fountain to the second one; it serves as a connector of the various events that took place over time.  In the third garden is another fountain that is also built in a circle.  This one, though, has a round stone well built in the center of the circle.  Water flows  around the well in a complete circle.  Like the first fountain, this one symbolized unity  and serves as a reminder of the painful events that happened in 1994 so that they do not happen again. 

The memorial center is the graveyard for 250,000 plus bodies from
the genocide and more bodies are still being found around Kigali.  Once they are found, the bodies are taken to this memorial center and are given the proper burial that they have always deserved.  Since so much time has passed, the bodies are often separated from the heads of the bodies so they count a head as a "body;"  that is the only way to keep an accurate count of how many people have been buried there.  Once inside the memorial center, we walked through the different exhibit rooms for about two hours.  Some people cried, and some people got really sad, but I felt anger more than anything else as I walked through the exhibit rooms.  Reading all of the things that happened and the manner in which the events took place really got to me.  Everything was near perfect within Rwandan life until the Germans wanted to come in and try to colonize the country.  The first chance they had, and for their own benefit, they turned the Rwandans against each other and allowed them to murder and torture one another--by the hundreds of thousands. 

I think the hardest part for me to see during the tour of the memorial center was the Children's Room.  It displayed pictures of the children who were murdered and tortured along with their ages and some basic facts about each child.   There were two stories in that room that really broke my heart--a 6 year old girl who was stabbed in both of her eyes and head, and a 10 year old boy who was tortured to death.  How could this happen?  How can a people be so mean and filled with so much hate that they could torture a child that way.  It really is unbelievable. 

Throughout the memorial center were recorded testimonial clippings.  They were all extremely difficult to watch, however three of them stood out for me as they have such vivid details of the events that transpired.  One man spoke of his mother and told a story of what he remembers about most about her.  She was the one person he loved more than anything and she was murdered right before his eyes.  Before she was killed, the man could remember being extremely hungry, but not having any food around.  The only thing his mother had left to feed him was beans, however he absolutely hated beans.  Knowing this fact, his mother would go out for food and the only thing she was able to find was passion fruit.  So on the night that is etched deep within his memory, this man remembers his mother feeding him a dinner of passion fruits and begging him to please it up and that he had to be strong.  He ate the passion fruits at the request of his mother and a short while later, she was murdered.  This is his last memory of her, and now, even the simple thought of a passion fruit brings back memories of the last time he saw his mother and the very last meal he had with her at such a young age.

Another testimonial at the end of the exhibit was of a man who spoke on the aftermath of the genocide.  He said, "It's impossible to forget, but hard to remember."  These people have to walk around day to day with the pain of their history on their shoulders.  They see these vivid images in their heads all the time, and the slightest sights and scents trigger their memories at the most unsuspecting moments.  The man who spoke in the final testimonial said that the Rwandans don't want or need to be pitied, they just want people to understand what happened.  They feel like the entire world turned its back on them in their greatest time of need, and they just want people to know and understand what went on...more importantly, they want this to serve as a reminder of what happened and of how much damage was done, both mentally and physically, so that it does not happen again here nor anywhere else.

There is so much more to share from the memorial, but here is where I will close.  Sometimes at dinner, I look over at my host mother and I'll catch her just staring into space with the saddest look on her face.  I've been wanting to ask her what's wrong, but I never feel like I have the language skills to properly form the question or even fully understand her response.  However after visiting the genocide memorial, I no longer need to ask.  The answer is in every word I read and in every image I viewed as I walked through each exhibit.  Her pain stems from the genocide.  I don't know how or what it was, but I am positive she was affected and it still haunts her to this day.  I pray to God that whatever it is, that she can find some piece of mind and that the Lord gives her the strength to smile.  She is the sweetest person and she genuinely deserves it.

One survivor stated in a testimonial, "Forgiveness is for God, I'm only human."  To have to live with the memories every day is one thing, but for your heart to not be able to forgive...I just can't imagine...

Love and Peace Corps,

Dametreea




(Written on 6/3/12)