Rwandan Weddings

The Ceremony:

Rwandan weddings consist of three ceremonies.  A dowry (gift giving) ceremony, a traditional "American" ceremony, and a third one which I am still trying to figure out.  (I'll have to get back to you on that one). 

The Bride: At the ceremonies that I've attended, I have noticed that the bride always looks painfully sad; kind of like she is making the biggest mistake of her life.  After asking someone from my health center why this is always the case, they told me that the bride is supposed to look extremely sad at the wedding ceremony as the fact that she is marrying means that she will be leaving her family's home; a smiling bride is an insult to her family as the attendees will think that she is happy to be leaving her family.

Wedding Rings: The bride wears her wedding ring on her left middle finger until she and her husband perform all three ceremonies.  Only then can she move the ring to her left ring finger. 

Wedding Gifts: Gifts usually consist of animals, food, money, and household items.  The animals (cows, sheep, goats, and/or chickens) come from either the bride or groom's parents; and the food (beans, rice, etc), from what I've seen, comes from some of the mama's and elderly women within the community.  It is customary for the invitees to give a monetary gift to the bride and groom upon being invited  to the wedding (the amount depends on how close they are to the couple); it is also customary for the attendees to bring another gift to the dowry ceremony.  These gifts can range from cultivating tools (hoes and machetes) to kitchen ware (thermoses and glasses). 

Muslim Wedding Highlights:

The Dowry ceremony that myself and two other volunteers attended last Sunday was that of a Muslim couple.  As the guests entered the wedding, the men were ushered to one side of the wedding area, while the women were ushered to the opposite side.  As soon as everyone was seated, the "ushers" went around to give each guest a bottle of Fanta to sip on throughout the ceremony.  There was a dj there to entertain the guests until the wedding formally began.

When the bride entered the room (about halfway through the ceremony), she immediately walked over to the groom's father, bowed (slightly) in front of him, and handed him a cowboy-style hat (the old men here love their cowboy hats!) and a cane as her gift to him; next she proceeded to greet the other men at the front of the wedding area (I'm not sure who they all were, I'm assuming relatives of the groom).  Next, she went to the groom's mother, bowed in front of her and presented her with a gift wrapped basket.  Following this, she went to join her husband at the front of the room and stood there looking painfully sad as several speeches were made by a few different men, two of the speech-giving men were her father and the groom's father.  Next, the bride and groom were served their favorite soda (Orange Fanta) in wine glasses.  Once their glasses were full, the groom held his glass up to the brides mouth so that she could take a sip, and then she held her glass up to his lips so that he could take a sip.  Following the drinking of the orange Fanta, about a million more speeches were made and then the groom was finally told that he could kiss his bride--and he did!  This was quite shocking to me as the people of Rwanda do not show affection toward one another. I didn't know kissing at a wedding was even allowed!

Following the kiss, the wedding ended (or so I thought).  As it turned out, when the bride left the room, it was to go and change into her white dress for the traditional "American" ceremony.  When she returned to the wedding area, she passed by everyone and entered the house at which the wedding was being held.  Inside the house, the bride and the groom were each given a ceramic container filled with what I believe to be milk.  (Cows are seen as a sign of wealth and well-being here, hence the reason for the drinking of milk at the wedding ceremony).  Just as they did with the Fanta earlier in the wedding, the couple took turns giving each other milk.  Once this portion of the ceremony ended, they both stood and left the room hand in hand; this concluded the "milk-drinking" portion of the ceremony.  Next up on the agenda was to go and take the wedding photos at a nearby garden and then proceed to Kamonyi (the groom's home village) for the final (third) ceremony (which myself and the other two volunteers did not attend, hence, I'm unable to give any details on how it went).

It's very rare for all three ceremonies to be held in one day (since each one is like 3 hours long!); they are typically months (sometimes years) apart.  I guess these two were in a hurry to get them over with.

Love and Peace Corps,

Dametreea

P.S.  There are pictures from the wedding ceremony posted in the Facebook Photo Gallery under the Photo Gallery tab...enjoy (: