Preggers

It just so happens that a little while back (several months ago) I left my village for approximately one week and came back to a very pleasant (but questionable) surprise.  One of my coworkers was preggers...VERY preggers...like 6 months preggers! lol  (Unless she managed to squeeze 6 months of pregnancy into just one short week, I definitely need to be more observant...btw she's not someone who can hide a pregnancy, she's about a size 2 without the slightest bit of meat on her bones).  Anywho, this is my same coworker who just had a wedding two months prior o.O

*SN: I'm not judging.  It's just that based on Rwadan culture, pregnancy (even sex) before marriage is frowned upon...or so I thought (apparently I was wrong).

At any rate, shocked at her "unorthodox" pregnancy, I opted to ask one of my coworkers the obvious, "Is she pregnant?"  My coworker looked at me and said with a mischievous smile, "I will tell you in a moment when everyone is gone [from the office]."  When it was just the two of us and the conversation began, I  just about fell on the floor laughing at his many responses.  See the entire conversation below:

Me:              Is ----- pregnant??

Coworker:   Yes, but you see, she is married last year. 

Me:              Yeah, in December...that was TWO months ago!! She has to be at least 3 or 4 months                     because you can see it...A LOT!

Coworker:   It is growing fast. *laughter*

Me:              Babies don't grow that fast.

Coworker:   Maybe her husband, he was to take a taste...they click the mouse before...they danced                     before the music...

Me:              *hysteric laughter* Where in the world did he learn these phrases???

Coworker:   Maybe he want to test it out before.  Haha!

At this point, my only response was hysteric laughter as he went on and on with one-liners on how the newly married, preggers couple tested the waters before they tied the knot.  But then the conversation took a turn for the worse (which can always be expected when dealing with this guy).

I'm assuming the shock of the situation (more from his comments than the near-wedlock child) was written all over my face because he proceeded to ask me (very randomly), "If we were to make a baby, then you would keep it?"  My response, "We won't [make a baby] because I am waiting until I am married."  "But suppose we make a mistake," he joked (at least I hope he was joking).  "We won't make a mistake because I will not do that."  Not to mention you're married and 100% DISGUSTING! Yuck! Very clearly amused with himself and the conversation, my coworker proceeded to ask me, "So when you are married, if the sex is bad, you will stay with it?  You must try before to know it isn't bad."  Here is where I began to ignore my coworker the way I always do when he takes a conversation too far; and as I'm ignoring him, he belted out one final line about my preggers coworker, "Her husband eat the food before the ceremony and he enjoy it. hahaha! "

Finally, after a couple minutes of silence I swore to myself to never ask my perverted coworker anything within the realm of sex and pregnancy ever again...and then I thanked God that the conversation was finally over--or so I thought.  The silence was just a precursor for what would come next.  He was searching the work computer, I repeat,  WORK COMPUTER, for something I didn't even need to know was there.  Once he found what he was looking for, he said to me, "Sista look!  Look sista!"  I moved my attention from my laptop to the work computer and immediately made it known, "I don't want to see that."  "But sista look!"  "I don't want to see that!" I replied and then proceeded to leave the room. 

Oh how I wish this were America and I could charge this guy with sexual harassment; but I'm not, and I can't *sigh*

Love and Peace Corps,

Dametreea